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December 8, 2005
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White softness abounds
Serenity and beauty
Dashed across your face
Once again a warning to those who don't like Haiku. Take cover! Hai, I have taken another stab at Haiku and am rather pleased with the results. This was originally sent to with her "present" (and yes every one is personalized in some way or another.) Anywho, I thought you might like this, so here it is
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:iconlawren:
Lawren Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
Short. vivid. I might like this....haiku
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
Indeed, that is what Haiku is all about. Getting the maximum message across in the least number of words.
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:iconlawren:
Lawren Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
Well, you have succeeded excellently.
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
lol, well thank you^^
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:iconlawren:
Lawren Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
Your Welcome,
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
:glomp:
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:iconlawren:
Lawren Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
Ahhh!!!!!
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
XD Thanks you make me feel so good about myself...
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(1 Reply)
:iconlahere:
lahere Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
this thing I love about Haiku's is that they can lead to more...this is a great haiku :)
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. I hope that I got the maximum effect across with a minimal amount of actual writing^^
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:iconimhere4freedom:
imhere4freedom Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2005
Very nice! I would say something else but I don't know what else to say. I'm not a real Haiku kind of person. I like long peoms that go on forever or at least go on for awhile. Just remember Paul Reverse Ride it is like a five page poem of awesomness. LOL! Good Job anyways!
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
Paul Reverse? What was that about? A guy who rode backwards *is laughing really hard*
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:iconimhere4freedom:
imhere4freedom Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2005
Shut up! You know I can't spell well. That is just the way life works. :D
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
lmao, yeah, but its still funny^^
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:iconimhere4freedom:
imhere4freedom Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2005
Ahh hush up! LOSER
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
Bwah, I could say the same thing to you!
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:iconimhere4freedom:
imhere4freedom Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2005
Sure! That's what they all say! :P
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
And just who is this "they"?
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(1 Reply)
:icontakjak:
TakJak Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
aww that's sweet :)
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks^^
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:icontakjak:
TakJak Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:nod: n_n yw
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:iconkismet-neko:
Kismet-Neko Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005
So much in so few lines...lovely work, duck. A very nice bit of contrast as Lady Shadow mentioned. The last line for some odd reason makes me think that the person in the poem was on the losing end of a snowball fight.
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
Or that the person had just stepped outside and was admiring the snow when they were hit^^
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:iconkismet-neko:
Kismet-Neko Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005
That as well.
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
lol, thats something that Kiyune would do^^
Kiyune: No, thats something Rain would do to me -_-**
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:iconkismet-neko:
Kismet-Neko Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005
Rain would wallop you with a snowball?
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
Kiyune: Actually, she's more likely to try to hit Gaobum, but yes.
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:iconkismet-neko:
Kismet-Neko Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005
She's a cheeky little kit, eh?
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
Kiyune: You might say that. Though, its good she's still a kid after all she's been through.
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(1 Reply)
:iconladyshadowblade:
LadyShadowblade Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005
Oooh, very nice. You have this soft imagery and then use a word like "dashed". It's a nice contrast.
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, I think thats what haiku is all about, that contrast. I hope I'm becoming more like real haiku with my work.
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:iconhappyone52000:
happyone52000 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. And great job. You may have a talent for haikus. Anyways keep it up.
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
Heh, thanks. I try for subtle feeling in my haiku. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Generally you all don't see the ones that don't work^^;
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