Google's PrayerOur Google, which art in Wi-fiQuick be thy search.Thy results come, thy buffer be done,On Bing as it is in Chrome.Give us this day our daily updatesAnd forgive us our spellingAs we forgive those who butcher English grammar.And lead us not into Apple,But deliver us from Siri.For thine is the Wi-fi, the processor, and the android forever.Amen.
Hard at Work (drunk poem)I hired a man from the yellow pagesto cut my lawn, as I've simply no timeto do it myself. But he came overdressed as a policeman, and told meI had been bad. Oh my, and then......nevermind. No more shall I callMen - Hard at Work, again.Thank god my lawn is gated;the neighbors, what would they think?
To a believer.Fancy me a fool?Some sort of ass or mule?You've got to be kidding,when you say an invisible force will do its bidding.In the winter you give children toys;but your clergy bugger little boys.But oh wait there's more,funny ones, they bang their heads against the floor.Blow up buildings for something they read in a book,wonder how cunning was the writer,bloody clever crook.They're all the same,innocent people they blame.Aren't you a bit too old,to believe the madness you are told?This weird obsession,of believing in one.Look at the Greeks,they had many- now that was fun.Every time they open their mouth,even more nonsense th
Table for who.A table in the cornerset for tworoses and candlesjust for you.Booked this for ourfirst date.Now I can't wait.Arranged to meet onneutral ground somewhere in the middle of town.We thought it was timewe met after chattingon the net.Talking for so longit seemed we could dono wrong.A voice said hellonot soft more a bellow.What happened to the womanwho never went on cam.Now I know she was a man.I was in a sweatMy heart racingupstairs I heard pacing.It was the morninga beautiful daythe nightmare I had washed away.
1Z Listu do Zjednoczonych Krain."[...] Pokonaliśmy Niszczyciela dzięki Poświęconej. Osiem krain kiedyś oddzielnych teraz się zjednoczyły. Woda, Morze, Światła, Mrok, Ogień, Wiatr, Czas no i epicentrum Wiara. Cykl ten zakończył się ze śmiercią Adhary Poświęconej i Sana z Ahmalem którzy byli Niszczycielami. To daje nam nowy cykl. Cykl Talizmanu Mocy. [...]" Plac ćwiczebny Akademii Jeźdźców Smoków był prawie pusty. Na środku areny stała dziewczyna miała zamknięte oczy. Jej czarne włosy z grana
COLLAB POEM 3I BE ZORA LOLOL@All: It's raining, oh it is indeedYou@All: MY LOVELY STEED,TACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: I think i am in great needYou@All: OF HORSE FEEDI BE ZORA LOLOL@All: On seedsI BE ZORA LOLOL@All: That bleedTACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: I am filled with needTACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: of feedTACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: and seedsI BE ZORA LOLOL@All: On your bleedTACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: and your indeedTACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: full of feedYou@All: and weedsTACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: and beadI BE ZORA LOLOL@All: With greedTACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: i needYou@All: to pleadTACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: with greedI BE ZORA LOLOL@All: That we'dYou@A
Goodnight, CthulhuSing a song of madness,An Old One never dies.Four and twenty ShoggothsBaked in a pie.When the pie burst open,The guests began to scream.Wasn't that a wicked dish,To complete Dagon's scheme?Lord Cthulhu sleeps in R'leyh,And sees us in our dreams;Nyarlathotep babbles in the dark,And feeds upon our screams.The cliff-ghasts now are flying free,Hunting for fresh meat;And if they catch you dreaming,Your doom will be complete.
Pome to MortBlurble and blargle! The fungle's like marble...The flustig is blowing, And such is the way,Of stating your case, When reason holds sway...It's not that I'm jaznick,Or terribly garblous...Or wanting a chat, or something quite farblous....So whenever your fungle is open to air,and your blushniks are blushing...Without any fears...A short danggly missive,portraying, your wishes...will suffice to inform me,(oh it's just so delicious!) Of when you're on, netwise.. so both of us, (gleebly)can verily cheerably,greet appositely, and nothing unsightlyshall mar the endeavourwhen gaily, together,We'll mingle our rhymes....
Big word, Little shinxI’m in the dark, just a little shinx. These big dogs keep talking the big bark, but I’ll show em when the rain comes. This little kitty can do more than shine in the night, I’ll paint these gym walls with red your fright. Gold fur and a heart of black, my trainer stabbed me in the back. Broken and bloody I won’t give up till she’s crying over my dead body.As you look into my eyes the last thing you’ll see is the most hurt part of me.I’ll protect my innocence behind this fiery bolt,Rock smash, rock tomb, I already know it’s my doom. Take my swagger like a thief; I’ll double team th
The reason that students must learn history"Sir! Why should I learn history?"I gave him a clout with my knuckles."Oh! Why are you hitting my head?"Again, I gave him a clout with my knuckles."Shit! Why are you hitting my head? Why should I learn history?"The student protests again. I put out this splendid answer."If you did not remember that you hit, When I hit you again, Could you avoid?"
OnCe UpOn A mOtHeRfUcKiN tImE OnCe UpOn A mOtHeRfUcKiN tImE tHeRe WaS a LiTtLe MoThErFuCkEr.ThAt GrEw Up SuRrOuNdEd By OtHeR lItTlE mOtHeRfUcKeRs.tHeSe OtHeR lItTlE mOtHeRfUcKeRs WeNt OuTsIdE tO pLaY a KiCkAsS mOtHeRfUcKiN gAmE.tHe MoThErFuCkErS fOuNd A bUnCh Of SqUaRe ShApEd MoThErFuCkIn MiRaClEs.ThAn EvErY mOtHeRfUcKeR dIeD bEcAuSe ThE mIrAcLeS wErE tOo MoThErFuCkIn AmAzInG.tHe EnD.hOnK :0)
Off TopicIt all started when I was 13 years,7 months, 2 weeks,4 days, 6 hours,12 minutes & 14 seconds old.Wait, now that I think about it,now it would be 15 seconds.16. 17. 18. 19.20. 21. 22. 24.Crap, forgot 23.Shoot,Where was I? I lost track...I think I was at 20-something...Wait, wait, wait, hang on.What story was I telling again?
Panty and Stocking Oh pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, Oh evil spirit born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth, May the thunderous power from the garments of these holy, delicate maidens, Strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger, Shattering your lowness and impurity and returning it from whe
Mad Libs: Love StoryMy smelly darling,I love you more than pizza itself. Each minute away from you is a/an sun, each hour is a/an gross eternity. Without you, life is dull, boring, and fluffy. I feel like a baby without my statue, a toddler without my teddy dragon, a dog without its bees. I can't get you out of my gut. I can't stop thinking about the color of your sand, your hard laugh, the way you limp a joke. This morning, when the mail fire brought your special delivery babies, my finger skipped a beat, my throat was in my throat, and my clock trembled so much, I could hardly throw your white house. What you said set my
The Abstract Gentleman's BarThe Abstract Gentleman’s BarHaha, Gentleman! Please take a seat and I promise you won’t miss a beatFor we got a show for you this evening which revolves strictly around women!Black, White, Asian and Exotic, I promise they’re all quite the treatAnd if you don’t see that I’m being completely honest then why don’t you unzip your pants of denim!We have Christians and Mormons but none of the WitnessesWe like to keep alive, right? After all you’re only here to hide from your wives or issuesStuff like money, and children, who grow to be more of an issue in previous ChristmasesYet, here you are now,
A Paradelle on a streamThe small stream flowsThe small stream flowsThe laughing water swirlsThe laughing water swirlsSmall the laughing swirlsWater flows the streamLiquid burbles over rocksLiguid burbles over rocksHappy is the soundHappy is the soundLiquid sound over rocksIs the happy burbles'Round corners it goes'Round corners it goesPlaying all the timeplaying all the timeThe playing it goes'Round corners all time'Round corner the waterThe laughing flows streamThe time is happyLiquid swirls over rocksAll playing it goesSmall burbles the sound
Beautiful MadnessI stand here todayAlone in the crowdTotally abandonedEven though I'm surroundedAnd the voices, they comeTo torment my poor soulAnd point out the thingsI'd rather left untoldChorus:I can see myselfWith crystal clarityMy flaws on displayThey're all I can seeI'm alone with myselfWhat's left of me, that isAnd I just can't escapeThis beautiful madnessThis beautiful madnessWith my imperfections shiningLike bloody gems in a rowI just keep wonderingHow everyone doesn't knowThat I turn from the lightSo that it won't showMore dark secrets I hideDeep in my black soulChorus:I can see myselfWith crys
From the CatString up my brother and box his stupid earsWhy does this make me feel so wonderful?No more will I suffer at his unfeeling feetHe must never say I am the perfect feline companionNip him alwaysAnd cough up a hairball on his noseCrazy little boy pounced
Not that the poem was bad. The commentary was just that awesome.