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August 18, 2006
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I said goodbye so that we could both start again.  Which, of course, begs the question of why am I sitting here crying, wishing that hadnít been our last conversation?  I wish we could have ended on a happy note, one where I could have made you laugh, or at the very least smile.  But of course, I messed it up.  I couldnít finish what I was trying to say; I paused too soon.  I didnít tell you how I liked the way you laugh at my lame jokes, or make up random thing just to see if you can make me giggle.  I didnít tell you how proud I am of you.  In your life there have been so many trials and tribulations, and yet somehow youíve managed to work through each one, pushing on to the better things you know are ahead.  I know that it can be so hard to see through the pain life can give us, but right now I think that your vision is just about 20/20. You will be able to look back on this one day and see just why we went through this point in our lives.

You are strong, physically and emotionally, even if you donít think you are.  Itís that strength that will get you through this, its just one more rung on your latter of experience.  And while I really donít like belittling our time together like that, Iím not sure how else to think of it right now.  No, the world isnít over, and one day soon both of us will find that our tears have dried, and that we can once again sleep through the night.  

I can only hope that the time we spent together wasnít, as you put it, a waste.  Iíd like to think I was able to give you something, even if that was only the knowledge that you can be, and are liked.  You have so many friends, and sometimes I wish I could have spent time with them, just to watch all of you goofing off together.  I hope that you will also realize that one day, God willing, you will find the right person, just waiting out there for you.

I have to tell you, no matter what you say, love is not impossible.  It is, however, very difficult.  I know that I tried to explain it to you, and failed.  One day, though, I think you will be able to see what I was trying to say.  Love will see you through, no matter how clichťd that sounds.  When you finally understand what it is Iíve been trying to tell you all along, you will know how I really felt about you.

I guess that I still love you, but itís not the same as before.  Somehow, without me even noticing it, it seems, my feelings towards you have transformed.  While this is going to sound horrible, I have to say that my feelings towards you are more of how a sister should feel than a lover.  I still love your jokes, your teasing, basically everything about you.  I just donít think I love them in the same way I did before.

I still love you, Iíll miss you, and I dearly hope that we can still be the best of friends, despite what happened today.  Please, try to remember that tonight and as you go throughout your life.

Thank you for everything, and goodbye.
You know who you are, and so do I. You don't have to post to this if you don't wish to.

I appologize in advance to anyone who doesn't like sapiness.
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:icongifts-raemanzu:
gifts-raemanzu Featured By Owner May 5, 2007  Student Writer
This is very touching... and I wonder how any one could not be affected by it and see how honestly it came from your heart. Even if it was an overreaction, it was a true one, and caused by true feelings and fears. I think I understand that pretty well... I'm one of those people who is always afraid of losing htose close to me through misunderstanding or some unexplained distancing... so this really speaks to me. Kudos to you for putting your feelings so purely, no matter what anyone would say.
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner May 6, 2007  Hobbyist Writer
Mm, I don't think that it was an overreaction. Really, though, thank you. This was and is a very personal piece for me. I'm glad that you liked it.
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:iconkjanuary:
KJanuary Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2006
Ah... This really reached out to me. I know (I guess) they're your personal emotions, but I've been in shoes only a few sizes different, and you expressed the emotions of it so well that for a moment I thought you were reading my mind.
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
Unfortunately, I think that a lot of people would know how this feels...
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:iconanareincarnation:
AnaReincarnation Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2006
The things we come up with when affected. Good piece. *tear and a hug*
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
Aw, thank you.
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:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
I can see... despite how cliche that phrase sounds, love will pull you through, its very true. reminds me of a song by very wise old dead Rich Mullins :|

Let mercy lead, let love be the strength in your legs, and in every footprint that you leave ther'll be a drop of grace. If we can seek beyond the wisdom of this age into the foolishness of god, that foolishness will save those who believe, all though their foolish hearts will break they will find peace, and I'll meet you in that place where mercy leads.
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you.

And in responce to your siggy, God is NOW here...
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:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
yay! you see it!
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:iconkuroinami:
kuroinami Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2006  Hobbyist Writer
Of course. I see him everywhere.
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